I Believe, I Believe, It’s Silly, But I Believe

by Kir

I believe, I believe, it’s silly, but I believe.

Ever Feel Like This?

Remember that phrase from Miracle on 34th Street? Growing up, I watched that movie every Thanksgiving and Christmas. And I always loved it when Kris, aka Santa, says, “Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to”.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a big believer in the Law of Attraction. But lately, I have to wonder what is going through my brain to attract some of this stuff!

Overall, it seems like the pace of the world is increasing at a bewildering speed every day. One minute it’s noon on Memorial Day and the next it’s halfway through September. Yet oddly, in other ways, it feels like certain goals, shifts and changes are taking forever to come to fruition. This leaves me scratching my head and trying to make sense of it all.

I truly think that’s why I spend so much time at the beach. It’s a bit of a “throw your hands up in the air” and chalk it up to, well, “maybe today’s not the day it’s all going to happen” mentality.  So the beach and it’s endless waves and daily tides is soothing in that it’s always changing in some ways and in other ways, it’s so very constant.

Here’s the dilemma. As much as I try not to, I know there’s a big part of me that feels as follows: I put out very clear intentions, I architected my day, I kept positive thoughts in my brain, I was nice to people on the freeway on my way to work, I turned away from gossip, I focused on what I love and what’s good instead of negativity…so where’s my reward? Why is it taking so long? And when things aren’t working out the way I hope they would or think they should, my thoughts shift to: What am I doing wrong? Am I somehow inadvertently attracting stress and failure? What is my lesson in all this? What can I try to do differently starting NOW so I can get onto a new vibration?

Take the combination of these two thought processes, tie them together in a pretty bow and loop them over and over and you will see what’s been occupying my brain for the last three months. (Probably a LOT longer if I’m honest) It’s a bit exhausting.

Those pretty posters on Pinterest about “Not All Those Who Wonder Are Lost”…yea, not written about me right now. I can’t stress enough that I have a multitude of gratitude for my amazing life. My amazing M. My amazing family, friends, home, beach, lifestyle, etc. But we all want and yearn for progress, for purpose and to know with every ounce our being that we are on the right track.

Yea, not me right now…

Rather than a wanderer, I’m feeling a bit more like a buoy. In some ways, happily bobbing along in the sea. In other ways, I must confess, I’d love a touch more certainty and definition in my life’s work.

Be the Buoy

So there it is. No answer today. No wise solution. But definitely some relief in putting words to the tangled mess in my head. Thank goodness for the written word and the ability to get it out into the world ♥♥♥