Don’t Be That Guy In Yoga

by Kir

This post is for the fellas out there…Ladies, please pass this little how-to on over to your hubby, bf, brother, guy friend or any guy you care about for that matter. It’s geared for the single ones, but everyone can benefit – I hope…

Yoga is an incredible stress release and a great way to lean up your bod. And for you single guys out there brave enough to duck into a class, your odds of being one of three dudes in a sea of women is still pretty dang good. More and more of you are wising up and hitting the mat so competition is fiercer than a couple of years ago, especially in the heated classes.

I’m going to do my best to help you out and give you pointers on how not to look like a goober in yoga class.  The guy doing yoga next to me in class last night inspired about 80% of these lessons. Oy.

The best place to be in a yoga class if you’re newer to yoga…

Second to last row and at least one person in from the edge. It’s tempting to hide in the back row, but some teachers like to get creative and suddenly, bam, the back row becomes the front row and you’re in the spotlight. Same thing goes for the edges so stick to the middle of the room at all times!

Think football, here is your Zone…

Wash your towel & shorts, please!

Are you a sweat-er? It’s okay, we understand. Just make sure your towel and shorts are fresh each time you do yoga. That goes for your mat too. Nothing’s more off-putting to a girl than a stinky guy next to her before class has even started. You show up fresh and get stinky as we go, it’s all good. At least you made the effort. Which brings me to…

Don’t Be Stinky Yoga Guy

Wear deodorant, for the love of goodness

There seems to be a trend that the better a guy gets at yoga, the more “au natural” he goes. I don’t care if you are Mr. Vegan/Biodiesel/GlobalNomad for the 60-90 minutes you’re in yoga, pretty please suck it up and put on some Speedstick. It won’t kill you, but not wearing it will kill your chances with any girl in class, I promise.

Pro Yogi, often also the Stinky Guy

Skip the 13 extra push-ups

Yea you, those extra 13 push-ups you just knocked out during your chatauranga. Yawn. Douche-ness personified. Give us a guy who’s just trying to get through the sequence any day. That guy’s endearing, cute, and sweet even. Push up guy? Not so much!

Try not to stare

Okay, I’m guessing half the reason you’re in class in the first place is for the girls. But be subtle and try to not to ogle or gawk. I sympathize and can only imagine how tough this is, but do your best. A low-key smile if you make eye contact is one thing (even cute if done right!), but ogling cleavage in up-dog is a big no-no.

The Ogler, not so subtle…

Talk to her after class

If you like a girl and you want to talk to her after class, here’s a decent angle that can work if executed properly. (Ideally, you were situated somewhere close to her in class) Go up, be subtle and say something like, “Can I ask you a dumb yoga question? (Of course she’ll say yes, you seemed sincere) Then ask her a question about a pose you did in class. I.e., when the teacher had us do ‘x’, I was a bit lost. Is there a trick to it? You looked like you knew what your were doing and I was pretty hopeless” Now you see why it’s best if you were near her in class. How cute are you? Just be low-key and you might just pull it off!

Don’t worry if you’re not flexible

Everyone starts off saying they can’t do yoga because they’re not flexible. Guys, this is the one time you have the advantage – no one expects you to be a) flexible or b) good at yoga. Here’s a tip, stick to the basic pose. Remember the dance scene in Hitch with Albert? “This is where you live”. Don’t try to keep up with the girl next to you. Trust me, she was probably a gymnast in high school and will be waaaay more impressed with your restraint and lack of grunting. Bonus…you won’t pull a hamstring.

“This is where you live!”

Best uniform

We all love lululemon, but to be honest, they’re actually not the best pair of shorts for yoga. They’re good and they’ll do, but if you want to breeze through your class (and look cute doing it) then go for a stretchy board short like Hurley’s Phantom. You can get them on sale here at Zappos for around $50. I’m sure you can find cheaper if you dig. Buy 2-3 pairs unless you plan on lots of laundry (Remember step 2). Most girls agree, boys look hot in boardies!

Hurley Phantoms – look good & functional!

Best accessory 1

Spend the money on a good yoga mat.  My absolute favorite is the Manduka PROlite. It keeps you from slipping and sliding. You can get them here on Amazon for about $62 (free shipping). It sounds pricey, but it’ll last you at least 2 years. You’ll easily blow through 2-3 $30 mats in this timeframe.

Manduka PROlite mat

Best accessory 2

I know it’s crazy to pay $35+ for a yoga towel, but if you sweat a lot, it’s probably worth it. It fits to your mat and absorbs everything so you don’t slip and slide your way through class. Yogi Toes and Manduka both make good ones. You can find them on sale at Amazon here. Just get the weird color – it doesn’t matter!

Manduka mat towel – it works great if you’re a sweat-er!

All right, this ought to see you through the first month in yoga. Let me know how it goes. If my pick up line worked, you simply must tell me, I’d be so excited. Conversely, if you bomb or think any of the above is off the mark I’m all ears! Now go do some yoga, you cute boys!!!!

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