Don’t Be That Guy In Yoga…

by Kir

Dusting off an old chestnut…Don’t be that guy in yoga was one of my favorite blog posts to write. I was going through some writing samples this morning and found this one. So I tightened up the grammar a bit and voila, my first re-post is born! To the fellas out there…It’s geared for the single ones, but everyone can benefit.  

Yoga is a great way to cross-train, relieve stress and increase flexibility. For you single guys, your odds of being one of three dudes in a sea of women are pretty dang good.  Here are some pointers on how not to look like a goober in class.  The guy doing yoga next to me last night inspired 80 percent of these lessons. Yikes.

Best place to be in class

Second to last row and at least one person in from the edge. It’s tempting to hide in the back row, but some teachers get creative and then, bam, the back row becomes the front row and you’re in the spotlight. Same thing goes for the edges so stick to the middle of the room at all times.

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Wash your towel and shorts

Sweat a lot? It’s okay. Just make sure your shorts, towel and mat are fresh each time you do yoga. Nothing’s more off-putting to a girl than a stinky guy next to her before class has even started. Show up fresh and get stinky as we go. It’s all good. At least you made the effort.

Screen Shot 2014-02-23 at 11.13.51 AM

Wear deodorant for the love of goodness

I don’t care if you’re Mr. Vegan/Zen/Bio-diesel/GlobalNomad, for the 60-90 minutes you’re in yoga, pretty please, suck it up and put on some Speedstick. No deodorant, no girls. I promise.

Pro Yogi, often also the Stinky Guy

Skip the 13 extra push-ups

Yeah you. Those extra 13 push-ups you just knocked out during your chaturanga? Yawn. Give us a guy who’s just trying to get through the sequence any day. He’s endearing and cute. Push up guy? Not so much.

Try not to stare

I’m guessing half the reason you’re in class in the first place is for the girls. Be subtle and try to not to gawk. I sympathize and can only imagine how tough this is, but do your best. A friendly smile if you make eye contact is one thing, but ogling cleavage in up-dog is a no-no.

The Ogler, not so subtle...

Talk to her after class

See a girl you like? Talk to her after class. Say something like, “Can I ask you a dumb yoga question?” (Of course she’ll say yes. You seem sincere.)  Say, “When the teacher had us do ‘x’ I was a bit lost. Is there a trick to it? You looked like you knew what your were doing. ” How cute are you? Be low-key and you might just pull it off.

Not flexible? No problem

Ever said you can’t do yoga because you’re not flexible? You have an advantage here. No one expects you to be a) flexible or b) good at yoga. Just stick to the basic pose. Remember the dance scene in Hitch with Albert? “This is where you live.” Don’t try to keep up with the girl next to you. Trust me, she was probably a gymnast in high school.

"This is where you live!"

“This is where you live!”

Best uniform and accessory

Best news yet. Board shorts are your uniform, my friend. You probably have tons of them. Grab one of your stretchy pairs. Just make sure to wash them regularly. Most girls agree boys look hot in them. Save lululemon for the ladies.

Invest in a good yoga mat.  The Manduka PROlite is awesome. Minimal slipping and sliding and should last you 2-3 years. It’s worth it.

Okay, you’re ready. This ought to see you through your first month in yoga. Now go get ‘em and namaste you wonderful guy you. Happy Sunday ♥

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